The American tourist joined the queue at the 333 bus stop at Bondi Junction railway station.
asserted
tourist → join → station
“Will this bus take me to the world-famous Bondy Beach?” he asked me.
asserted
he → take → me
It wasn’t so world-famous, apparently, that he could pronounce it correctly.
uncertain
he → pronounce → it
“Yes,” I confirmed, “this one goes to Bond-eye Beach.”
asserted
one → confirm → Beach
Perhaps he’d thought it was named after Alan “Bondy” Bond, the Ossie famous for stealing the America’s Cup (among other things).
asserted
it → think → things
So I told the American where he could get off.
uncertain
he → tell → American
Rather, as we boarded the bus (standing room only because it was a Saturday), I asked the driver to alert this newcomer when he should alight: on the hill at the southern end of the beach, just before Notts Avenue, the address of the Bondi Icebergs, the essential starting point for a first-timer.
asserted
he → board → timer
It was one of those shimmering autumn days – cobalt-blue sky over indigo ocean, “diamonds scattered out to sea”, as Richard Clapton sings in Capricorn Dancer.
asserted
Clapton → shimmer → Dancer
I’d already taken it all in with my morning beach walk and dip, so I knew the American was in for a treat.
asserted
American → take → treat
“You’re about to witness Bondi at its flirty best,” I told him.
asserted
I → ’re → him
He frowned: “Flirty?”
asserted
He → frown → ?
“You’ll see,” I assured him.
asserted
I → see → him
“But you should also know that there’s much more to Bondi than its world-famous beach.”
And yet the beach does steal the show.
asserted
beach → know → show
“It’s an extrovert,” I said.
asserted
I → ’ → ?
“It’s the flirty, giggly exhibitionist of Sydney’s beaches.”
asserted
It → ’ → beaches
Again, he frowned.
asserted
he → frown → ?
Again, I said: “You’ll see.
asserted
You → say → ?
Anyhow, that’s the way we like it.”
asserted
we → ’ → it
Note that this conversation happened last year, long before the December 14 atrocity that cast a pall over the famous beach and its well-earned reputation as a place for frivolity, as a refuge from seriousness and sadness.
asserted
that → note → seriousness
“I gather you’re a local,” the American said.
asserted
American → gather → ?
“Almost,” I replied.
asserted
I → reply → ?
He looked at me warily.
asserted
He → look → me
Or, worse, was I a sweet-talking confidence man plotting to lead him into an alley and mug him?
asserted
I → talk → him
He seemed disappointed, though, when I said my stop was only minutes away, several before his.
asserted
stop → seem → his
I would have to leave him, not only with his belongings but with riding instructions.
asserted
I → have → instructions
First, find a perch on the balcony at the Bondi Icebergs – the everyman club, not the (fine) Dining Room and Bar next door, unless you’re hungry enough to test the greenback against the Australian peso.
asserted
you → find → peso
Or, across the road from the North Bondi Surf Life Saving Club, you’ll find lifesaving coffee at Porch & Parlour, the proprietor of which, Louise Shaw, while working as a barista to fund her university studies, travelled to Indonesia for field research on the supply chain of specialty coffee from farm to cup.
asserted
Shaw → find → cup
See – you’re just 30 seconds from the sand and already frivolous Bondi is capable of a cerebral conversation.
asserted
Bondi → see → conversation
Next, return to the beachfront and its promenade for the sheer spectacle: the calisthenics musclemen defying gravity and human limitation on the parallel bars in the outdoor gym; the Sydney Handstand Club (on Saturdays), whose members apparently include a look-Mum-no-hands subset of synchronised somersaulters; the Bondi Pavilion for its less athletic but equally sea-salted throng of everyday people; and back at the south end, the Bondi Skate Park for more exhibitionists, the aerial acrobats.
asserted
members → return → exhibitionists
But now, you must – must – leave the beachfront.
asserted
you → leave → beachfront
If there’s no time for anything else, a first-timer should climb Bondi’s ascending anterior artery, Hall Street, the heart of the suburb for those of us who live here.
asserted
who → ’ → us
Another American visitor, Oprah Winfrey, didn’t miss it last December and called it the best bookshop in Australia.
asserted
visitor → miss → Australia
One of her favourite American authors, Ann Patchett, also visited and went one better: best in the world.
asserted
One → visit → world
Among my family’s six Bondi addresses was the happiest of dead-end streets, Cox Avenue, the cul-de-sac of which abutted Hall Street.
asserted
sac → abut → Street
The only sensible way out to buy a loaf of bread was on foot.
asserted
way → buy → foot
That could become a one-hour, five-conversation expedition, as it might in the chatty main street of any decent country town.
uncertain
it → become → town
Back home: “You forgot the milk.”
asserted
You → forget → milk
So off I’d trot for another hour.
asserted
I → trot → hour
I should have told the American to stroll from Cox to Forest Knoll, another glorious dead end around the corner, and climb its precipitous stairs to Francis Street, then cross to the magical pedestrian lane that connects to Edward Street.
asserted
that → tell → Street
Here, admire its outdoor gallery of artworks, as I did last month when I discovered an old Bondi friend, Greg Perano, tending to the “exhibition”.
asserted
friend → admire → exhibition
…and 14 more, not listed.
The Aporia
