Earlier this year, I wrote an article about how, despite being a travel writer, I had never been to Melbourne.
asserted
I → write → Melbourne
This was less about throwing shade at what is an already sun-deprived city, and more about my woeful attitude to domestic travel.
asserted
what → throw → travel
Well, some people took that personally; none more so than the folks at Visit Victoria, who offered to bring me down to Melbourne to eat, drink and show me what I had been missing out on.
asserted
I → take → what
It should be said that I don’t normally take these sponsored trips (or “famils” as they’re known in the parlance of the trade – short for “familiarisation tour”).
asserted
they → say → tour
It’s not the most financially sensible move of my career but I’d rather experience somewhere as most people would – at my own expense, without the obligation and expectations of the media tour.
asserted
people → ’ → tour
But I couldn’t resist the temptation to write a joke about how you had to pay me to go to Melbourne, so here I am, in Melbourne, sipping an incredible coffee, nursing a terrible hangover, and all I can say is that the joke is on me.
asserted
joke → resist → me
And that’s coming from a guy who had to make an emergency trip to the dentist on a casual Friday afternoon, all thanks to a suspected cracked tooth.
asserted
who → come → tooth
After spending my life thumbing my nose at domestic travel, the irony of being able to walk into the dentist, wave my private health insurance card around, and walk out of there with my weekend saved was not lost on me.
asserted
irony → spend → me
Dental work aside, Melbourne is the kind of city that I would swoon over if it was in any other country in the world.
asserted
it → swoon → world
The coffee I’m drinking isn’t from anywhere trendy, nor does it have a name that makes me think that I’m about to suck the ink out of a fountain pen, but it is the best coffee that I’ve had all year (thanks Commune).
asserted
I → drink → that
All the meals have been exceptional, including a tiramisu from Rocco’s Bologna Discoteca that has ruined tiramisu for me, and a beef and tripe pho from Uncle The’s that was just as good as any I had while I was living in Vietnam.
asserted
I → include → Vietnam
My God, the pubs in Melbourne are like lightning in a bottle, and the reason why I feel so deplorable today is because the pubs here are the kind that make you wilfully ignore tomorrow.
asserted
you → feel → bottle
But you already know all this.
asserted
you → know → this
Everyone will tell you that Melbourne is the place to go if you want to eat, drink, and have a good time.
asserted
you → tell → time
The thing that I didn’t know about Melbourne, and the thing that now brings me the most shame for not coming here sooner, isn’t the food, nor the coffee, but the people who call it home.
asserted
who → know → it
Melbournians seem to exude charm, and enjoy life without letting their good times come at the expense of those around them.
asserted
times → seem → them
People here actually made eye contact with me (shocking, I know), and no matter where I went, I’d always end up talking with the strangers sitting next to me.
asserted
I → make → me
It is a refreshing change from what I’m used to in Sydney, where so much of life is lived with the kind of blinkers on that make you blind to everything other than the race that you’re running.
asserted
you → ’m → that
Hell, even my dentist was giving me tooth-appropriate restaurant recommendations while she was digging around in my skull, and it was people like her that made Melbourne so memorable.
asserted
Melbourne → give → her
For someone who travels as much as I do, I’ve been oblivious to how beautiful people can be in my own backyard.
asserted
people → travel → backyard
They might look like me, talk like me, but they’re not like me; they’re nicer than me, and it shouldn’t have taken a hundred passport stamps for me to see that some of the best people I’d meet were only an hour-and-14-minute flight from home.
uncertain
I → look → home
I’m sure when Visit Victoria sent me to Melbourne, they didn’t expect the star of my article to be a random dentist (shoutout to Dr Tikku), but then life is full of surprises and the people of Melbourne have been one of them.
asserted
people → ’m → them
They’ve shown me that Australia is not the monolith I always thought it was, and how a domestic trip can be just as eye-opening as an international one.
asserted
trip → show → one
Of all the (too many) beers I had in Melbourne, the beers at Molly Rose were the best.
asserted
beers → have → Rose
The Aporia
