Last week a New York Times/Siena poll found that Americans of every generation shifted to the left over the last two years — except for one: Generation X.
Liberal Boomers, Millennials and Gen Zers were gobsmacked.
“What’s wrong with Gen X?” they demanded.
asserted
they → find → X
As a member of that generation I’m here to tell you: Absolutely nothing.
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I → ’m → you
In fact, we’re the only thing standing between this country and communism — the break-glass-in-case-of-emergency generation.
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we → ’re → emergency
In the ’90s they called us slackers.
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they → call → us
Now we’re middle-aged, menopausal and holding the door at the Alamo.
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we → ’re → Alamo
Have you even said “thank you”?
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you → say → you
No mystery why we’re like this: It’s because we were neglected — latchkey kids
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we → ’re → this
who ate saltines for dinner
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who → eat → dinner
Many of our parents got divorced and forgot they had children, which was fine because we were busy getting blackout drunk in hayfields and smoking weed in garages.
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we → divorce → garages
We also bullied each other — and it made us resilient.
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us → bully → other
I’m only half kidding when I say the anti-bullying movement launched this country’s decline.
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movement → kid → decline
Nobody came to save us, so we never expected the government to, either.
Our whole political philosophy could fit on a bumper sticker: Leave us alone.
And we vote on the basis of which party is more likely to do so.
uncertain
party → come → basis
Also, we’re the ones who are working; we’re in our peak earning years, which means our peak taxpaying years, too.
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which → ’re → years
Boomers are collecting Social Security, and younger generations are trying to afford a one-bedroom — the people writing the checks are us.
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people → collect → checks
Oh, you mean to tell me the people paying for everything don’t want everything to be free?
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everything → mean → everything
Nothing makes you more skeptical of “free” like being the one forced to pay for it.
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you → make → it
Plus, we’re tired.
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we → ’re → ?
Not like social-justice couch-warrior “I’m tired,” I mean literally and physically.
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I → ’m → justice
We have toddlers, plus teens, plus kids in their 20s who moved back home.
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who → have → 20s
Don’t forget aging parents: Not just two, because they all got divorced and remarried, but four.
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they → forget → parents
Divorce never ends.
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Divorce → end → ?
Meanwhile, Gen X women are hitting menopause, meaning we’re in that famous “zero-effs” era.
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we → hit → era
Layer that atop our default “well, whatever, nevermind” attitude, and it’s zero-effs on steroids.
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it → layer → steroids
You can’t shame us into voting the way you want; we’re immune to that emotional manipulation and bullying.
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we → shame → manipulation
Generationally, we’re the middle child.
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we → ’re → ?
We’ve got Boomers on one side going “just get a good job at the factory,” Millennials on the other asking “what if the factory were a co-op?” and Zoomers off filming TikTok dances on the factory floor.
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factory → get → floor
We’re the ones who remember the Cold War and the internet before it ate everyone’s brain, so we don’t fall for every Russian psy-op that gets injected into the discourse.
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that → ’re → discourse
And yes, I know Gen X is irritatingly obsessed with itself.
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X → know → itself
In our defense, nobody else was paying attention to us.
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nobody → pay → us
Also, a 2022 study found that almost everyone born in the ’60s and ’70s was exposed to harmful levels of lead from car exhaust and of course those yummy paint chips.
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everyone → find → course
It’s not some fair-weather podcast bro that will red-pill Gen Z — it’s a house, and their first real tax bill.
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it → ’ → Z
Nothing turns a socialist into a libertarian faster than that FICA line on a paycheck.
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Nothing → turn → paycheck
That’s why I do think housing is America’s biggest problem: Lawn care takes time.
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care → ’ → time
You can’t put on a keffiyeh and riot when you’ve got gutters to clean and three trips to Home Depot to complete the same project.
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you → put → project
A mortgage is the most counter-revolutionary force in America, and young people can’t afford houses, so they have nothing to do on Saturday except become communists.
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they → afford → Saturday
Of course they want to abolish private property.
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they → want → property
They don’t have any.
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They → have → any
Now, you may object that Gen X’s political stance is nothing special.
uncertain
stance → object → ?
After all, people do tend to drift right as they buy homes, raise kids and pay taxes.
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they → tend → taxes
If that’s the case, then the cure for communism is right in front of us: The most anti-communist thing this country could do is build houses and make it easy and affordable for young people to buy them.
uncertain
people → ’ → them
…and 7 more, not listed.
The Aporia
