Never mind the Budget, let’s talk bins.
asserted
’s → mind → bins
Over the years, this column has probably received more complaints about crazy rubbish collection and recycling schemes than any of life’s other officially imposed irritations.
asserted
column → receive → irritations
Council jobsworths compete with each other to work out who can come up with the most infuriating and expensive ways of causing the maximum inconvenience to the people who pay their wages.
asserted
who → compete → wages
This week’s clear winner is Denbighshire Council in North Wales, which is now forcing residents to separate their household waste into 12 – yes, twelve – different bins.
asserted
which → force → bins
These include traditional wheelie bins, food caddies, woven sacks for cardboard boxes, and something called Trolibocs, which even I couldn’t make up.
asserted
I → include → which
Everything from paper and glass to eggshells, fruit, plastics and even chocolate wrappers must be put in different containers.
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Everything → put → containers
Most of this waste will no doubt end up on a slow boat to China, where it will be incinerated to generate even more carbon emissions.
asserted
it → end → emissions
But a Labour councillor criticised residents who objected to this insanity, saying: ‘They are lazy and they can’t be bothered.
asserted
they → criticise → insanity
They probably don’t want to look after the environment and the climate change and blah, blah, blah, all right?
‘
asserted
They → want → environment
They are not thinking about their children, they are not thinking about the place they live in.
asserted
they → think → place
I mean, good grief we had a huge hot summer this year and that’s all to do with climate change, running out of water and whatever.
asserted
that → mean → water
As if 12 dustbins in Denbighshire are going to make the slightest difference to global warming, or the climate ‘emergency’ or whatever they call it this week.
asserted
they → go → it
But there speaks the genuine voice of local government in Britain today, once again holding the voters in undisguised contempt.
asserted
voice → speak → contempt
No doubt an army of inspectors will be sifting through these assorted boxes and issuing hefty fines to ‘offenders’ who inadvertently put the ‘wrong’ kind of rubbish in the ‘wrong’ bin.
asserted
who → sift → bin
Council jobsworths compete to work out who can come up with the most infuriating and expensive ways of causing the maximum inconvenience to the people who pay their wages
This week’s clear winner is Denbighshire Council in North Wales, which is now forcing residents to separate their household waste into 12 – yes, twelve – different bins
After all, that happens already in council areas where residents are faced with an increasingly complicated recycling regime.
Only a couple of weeks ago, Enfield Council’s eco-warriors refused to empty our garden waste bin on the grounds that it was ‘too heavy’ because the gardener had put some earth inside along with the grass and hedge cuttings.
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gardener → compete → grass
And for this ‘service’, we are charged £100 a year on top of our already extortionate council tax.
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we → charge → tax
That £100 off energy bills announced by the Chancellor yesterday will soon be swallowed up by the multitude of fines and other charges levied by both central and local government.
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100 → announce → government
Any motorist who strays into a cycle lane or a poorly signposted Low Emissions Zone is hit with a huge fixed penalty.
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who → stray → penalty
Breaking the ridiculous blanket 20mph speed limits everywhere will cost you hundreds of pounds.
asserted
Breaking → break → pounds
There’s no end to the ‘crimes’ you can commit.
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you → ’ → crimes
Town Hall jobsworths patrol parks issuing fines for ‘littering’ to people throwing bread to the ducks.
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jobsworths → issue → ducks
As I’ve reminded you on many occasions, we now live in a punishment culture.
asserted
we → remind → culture
The authorities delight in finding out what people want and then doing the complete opposite, which they proceed to enforce zealously.
asserted
they → delight → which
Which brings us back to the Budget.
asserted
Which → bring → Budget
There’s always a hidden nasty which slips under the radar.
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which → ’ → radar
This time it was the decision to hand even more money and powers to regional mayors as part of Councillor Burnham’s ‘road map to fiscal devolution’.
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it → hand → devolution
Mayors won’t only receive 100 per cent of business rates in future, they will also be handed a share – as yet unspecified – of income tax.
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they → receive → tax
This is on top of the already announced power to impose ‘visitor levies’ on stays in hotels, B&Bs and holiday lets.
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This → announce → hotels
Yet, as the Daily Mail’s post-Budget editorial observed yesterday, there’s no guarantee this extra revenue will be spent wisely.
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revenue → observe → ?
This week Genghis closed off Oxford Street to all traffic.
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Genghis → close → traffic
It’s claimed to be a clean-air initiative which will encourage more people to shop in an area that has been in decline for years
Localism and ‘devolution’ is fine in theory.
asserted
Localism → claim → theory
In practice, it’s a disaster.
asserted
it → ’ → practice
Look, too, at the car-crash Genghis Khan has made of London.
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Khan → look → London
Well, it would be a car-crash if anyone was allowed to drive fast enough.
asserted
anyone → allow → ?
This week Genghis closed off Oxford Street to all traffic.
asserted
Genghis → close → traffic
It’s claimed to be a clean-air initiative which will encourage more people to shop in an area that has been in decline for years.
asserted
that → claim → years
But it will only cause even more chaos and create pollution, not cut it.
asserted
it → cause → it
Black cab drivers, already under pressure from Uber, are tearing what’s left of their hair out and handing back their keys in droves.
asserted
what → tear → droves
Pedestrianisation schemes look good on paper, happy shoppers wandering down Continental style tree-lined piazzas, sipping lattes at open-air cafes.
asserted
shoppers → look → cafes
But go to almost any town or city in Britain which has been pedestrianised and it’s a different picture.
asserted
it → go → Britain
…and 19 more, not listed.
The Aporia
