- Published
Spoiler warning: This article reveals details from episode nine of The Celebrity Traitors, series two.
asserted
article → publish → Traitors
With the traitors still riding high following last Friday's episode, could they really just walk it to the final?
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they → rid → final
It was time to find out.
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It → find → ?
Having been bestowed with the almighty power of the double dagger - well, metaphorically speaking, at least - King Kenny held all the cards, choosing to use his special power of a double vote to send another faithful packing.
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Kenny → bestow → packing
As cliffhangers go, it wasn't hugely thrilling for viewers at home, given that the pair up for banishment - Sharon Rooney and Joanne McNally - were both faithfuls.
Nevertheless, it left a big impact on the faithful crew as they realised they had let the traitors land yet another blow ahead of Friday's final.
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traitors → go → final
"We've got to pull something out of the bag," said frustrated faithful Michael Sheen later.
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Sheen → get → bag
Joanne got teary as she departed and joked "she was premenstrual," before revealing she was "a hardcore faithful".
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she → get → ?
Maya described her as a "ball of fun", while Kenny put on his best acting skills in the aftermath by pretending to be struggling with having the deciding vote, even comforting poor Sharon.
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Kenny → describe → Sharon
Meanwhile, James Blunt was on the hunt for whiskey like a teenager at the end of a house party: "Where do they keep the stiff stuff?" he asked himself, finding only a tray of empty glasses.
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he → keep → glasses
Murder was soon on the minds of the traitors again as the dastardly trio of Kenny, Maya and James A trudged up to the turret.
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trio → trudge → turret
"The life of a traitor... it's not for everyone," said Maya.
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Maya → say → everyone
And that probably includes James A, although to be fair, he has shown a bit more enthusiasm for some pantomime villainy in the last couple of episodes.
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he → include → episodes
"Let's have faith," said King Kenny without a hint of irony.
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Kenny → have → irony
When Leigh-Anne Pinnock, probably the most astute faithful of the series, brought up James A being a potential traitor over breakfast, James B sarcastically replied: "I think that's a good theory to start banishing the most innocent."
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that → bring → innocent
Sharon - aka Poundland Poirot - failed to appear in the dining room, having been chosen for the chopping block so soon after escaping banishment, throwing all the faithfuls into more confusion.
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Sharon → fail → confusion
She was getting a bit stressed, so it was probably for the best.
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it → get → best
Michael had a warning for the traitors though, giving his most rousing oratory since his motivational speech for the Welsh football team ahead of the 2022 World Cup.
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Michael → have → Cup
"Traitors... today is going to be a living hell for you, I am going to push and push and push and you are going to suffer today.
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you → go → you
Theories were soon flying left right and centre, with Bash throwing the spotlight on "the head of the round table" Michael, Kenny putting suspicion on James B, while Romesh pointed the finger at actual traitor Maya, shock, horror.
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Romesh → fly → Maya
And the obsession with the peacock perfume wasn't going anywhere.
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obsession → go → perfume
Finally Michael 'Vengeful Daddy' Sheen seemed to be on to something, telling a shell-shocked Maya in the kitchen: "I think you could be a brilliant traitor, and if you and Kenny paired up, amazing."
She was probably relieved when the jeeps turned up for another day trip, and Romesh was all of us with his hilarious reaction to news of yet another insane mission.
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Romesh → seem → mission
On being told by host Claudia Winkleman that they had to find the severed heads of some of the murdered celebrities and reunite them with the head of the buried body, he got the giggles: "It's just so ridiculous.
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It → tell → giggles
I love it though!"
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I → love → it
James B tried to get one group in the Frankenstein-style lab to sing his hit Beautiful - which had Leigh-Ann and Michael bopping along but by the puzzled look on Kenny's face, he had clearly never heard it.
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he → try → it
This mission was a bit of a rehash of the wailing in the well challenge from the first Celebrity Traitors series, with Claudia going full headteacher and cheering - or should we say, shouting - the teams on.
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we → wail → teams
Digital versions of the dead celebs in bell jars had to be matched to the correct gravestone in the castle gardens.
"Seeing Ross's face when he was alive was enough to give a man pause, let alone when his dismembered head is looking out at you from a pickle jar," quipped Michael.
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Michael → have → jar
Back at the castle, it seemed that Michael wasn't the only one starting to turn up the heat on Maya.
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Michael → seem → Maya
Romesh and Bash decided she had gone under the radar long enough: "One of the greatest gliders in the game.
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she → decide → game
Maybe Olympic level gliding," mused Bash.
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Bash → muse → ?
Michael was under the spotlight first due to his presence, intelligence and status as "the father of the table."
In turn, he first went back to his previous suspicion of Leigh-Anne on the night of the murder in plain sight, accusing her again of using her Big Mix dance with Miranda as a distraction.
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he → go → distraction
Romesh put heat on James B due to his vocal accusations, which were often wrong.
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which → put → accusations
The quiet ones - traitors James A and Maya - were then questioned by Michael and James B, who soon honed in on the murder in plain sight, working out that Maya, Kenny and James A were in the library at the end of the night when Ross was killed.
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Ross → question → night
Credit where it's due.
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it → credit → ?
Then the bombshell of the series - something that has never happened before in the history of the show.
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that → happen → show
James A, who failed dismally to defend himself against Michael's accusations, clearly couldn't take any more and confessed he was a traitor at the table.
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he → fail → table
"I was made a traitor without wanting to be," he revealed, as the others gasped.
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others → make → ?
"I've had a unique experience on this that no-one has had before, I wanted to be a faithful and that's all I wanted to be.
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I → have → that
But I couldn't just say 'guys, vote for me.'
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I → say → me
"
At least no-one had to explain their decision when they all wrote his name down on the boards.
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they → have → boards
And as Michael and Maya stood round the firepit before heading to bed - or the turret in Maya's case - she looked like a dead woman walking.
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she → stand → woman
…and 1 more, not listed.
The Aporia
