Preindustrial marriage was not the fairy tale that many people imagine.
asserted
people → imagine → that
Some assume that in the villages of yore, life was simpler, love and marriage came easily, and most of our ancestors lived happily ever after in contented, wedded bliss.
asserted
most → assume → bliss
In reality, limited partner choices, widely tolerated domestic abuse, and frequent early deaths meant marriage was fraught with challenges.
asserted
marriage → tolerate → challenges
People in the past faced few options when it came to marriage.
asserted
it → face → marriage
was low—the few available choices might all be one's cousins, increasing the risk of birth defects in any resulting children.
Peasants typically married within their own villages, which were so insular that local dialects often proved unintelligible to people living just a few miles away.
uncertain
dialects → increase → people
Travel was rarer, and communities were more secluded than a modern person can easily envision.
asserted
person → envision → ?
As William Manchester evocatively put it in his book A World Lit Only by Fire, "Each hamlet was inbred, isolated, unaware of the world beyond the most familiar local landmark: a creek, or mill, or tall tree scarred by lightning."
asserted
hamlet → put → lightning
People typically gathered and socialized at a much smaller scale than the modern mind can fathom: The largest crowd recorded in 17th century England, the army that fought at Marston Moor, would easily fit five times over in a modern sports stadium.
asserted
that → gather → stadium
By the 18th century, little had changed, and the majority of villagers married people living within 10 miles of themselves.
asserted
majority → change → themselves
The tiny pool of possible marriage partners often produced matches that might raise eyebrows today, such as blood relatives and couples with large age gaps.
uncertain
that → produce → gaps
As Kirstin Olsen wrote in the book Daily Life in 18th-Century England, "A husband 10 or 15 years older than his bride would arouse little comment," for such relationships were common.
asserted
relationships → write → comment
Given the highly limited pool of marriage partner choices, perhaps it is unsurprising that many people seemingly settled for spouses ill-suited to them.
asserted
people → give → them
Olsen wrote that "much of the satirical literature of the 18th century…lampooned marriage as a hell or prison sentence for one or both partners.
asserted
much → write → partners
The most typical attitude toward marriage evinced in 18th century literature and visual art is a sly, collegial misery."
asserted
attitude → evince → literature
The poem "Wedlock" by the Englishwoman Mehetabel Wesley Wright (1697–1750), herself pressured into a loveless marriage with a plumber, paints a typical picture:
Thou source of discord, pain and care,
Thou sure forerunner of despair,
Thou scorpion with a double face,
Thou lawful plague of human race,
Thou bane of freedom, ease and mirth,
Thou serpent which the angels fly,
Thou monster whom the beasts defy,
Whom wily Jesuits sneer at too;
asserted
Jesuits → pressure → sneer
And Satan (let him have his due)
Was never so confirmed a dunce
To risk damnation more than once.
asserted
him → let → damnation
That wretch, if such a wretch there be,
Who hopes for happiness from thee,
May search successfully as well
For truth in whores and ease in hell.
uncertain
Who → be → hell
The Flemish poet and nun Anna Bijns (1493–1575) similarly advised other women to avoid marriage in her poem "Happy the Woman Without a Man."
asserted
poet → advise → Man
She wrote that a newlywed wife becomes "sorry and sad within a single year" as her husband gets drunk, beats her, cheats on her, and "consider[s] her a slave, that's all."
asserted
that → write → her
In 1682, an anonymous writer urged men to avoid the institution:
asserted
writer → urge → institution
'Tis the Destroyer of Our Peace and Health,
Mispender of our precious Time and Wealth;
The Enemy to Wit, Valour, Mirth, all
That we can Virtuous, Good, or Pleasant call.
asserted
we → ti → That
By Day 'tis nothing but an endless Noise;
By Night the Eccho of Forgotten Joys:
Ye Gods! that Man by his own Slavish Law,
Should on himself such Inconvenience draw
…
asserted
Eccho → ' → himself
And if thou'rt still Unmarry'd, thou art safe.
asserted
thou → thou'rt → ?
with whores thou can'st but venture, what is lost
May be Redeem'd again with Care and Cost;
But a Damn'd Wife, Inevitable Fate,
Destroys, Soul, Body, Credit, and Estates.
uncertain
Wife → can'st → Care
Emily Cockayne points out that "a curious little work of 1672 illustrated a misogynistic fantasy.
asserted
work → point → fantasy
It described a Dutch invention to help all unhappy husbands: a windmill to reform bad wives."
asserted
It → describe → wives
The illustration depicts ugly, frowning women entering the mill, led by their husbands, and beautiful, smiling women exiting the contraption.
asserted
illustration → depict → contraption
An accompanying description claims that the mill can transform "all sorts of women, as the old, decreped, wrinkled, blear-ey'd, long-nosed, blind, lame, scolds, jealous, angry, poor, drunkerds, whores, sluts; or all others whatsoever.
uncertain
mill → accompany → old
They shall come out of [the] mill, young, active, pleasant, handsome, wise, loving, vertuous and rich.
asserted
They → come → mill
Widespread antipathy toward one's spouse also found expression in distasteful jokes, such as the following from The Spirit of English Wit:
asserted
antipathy → find → Wit
To "a gentleman in the country, whose wife had the misfortune to hang herself on an apple-tree, a neighbour came in, and begged he would give him a cyon [scion] of that tree, that he might graft it upon one in his own orchard; 'for who knows,' said he, 'but it may bear the same fruit?'
uncertain
it → have → fruit
Those who imagine that the people of the past unfailingly adhered to stricter standards of sexual restraint and chastity might be alarmed at the frequency of shotgun marriages:
uncertain
people → imagine → marriages
Moreover, in England, one historian has suggested that in the 17th century, only about half of those regarded as married were actually married according to canon law (i.e., the ecclesiastical legal system).
uncertain
half → suggest → law
Many couples forwent a formal wedding and simply moved in together; they were treated as married under common law.
asserted
they → forgo → law
Although shotgun and informal marriages were frequent, marriages often ended in a less-than-ideal manner as well, typically with the untimely death of the husband or wife.
asserted
marriages → end → husband
Life in 17th century Europe was so fraught with disease, war, and accidents that most marriages ended with a spouse's early death, making remarriage and blended families far more common in the preindustrial past than today, despite what many might assume.
uncertain
many → end → what
Indeed, because life expectancy was low, couples who married in their mid- to late 20s typically had fewer than 20 years together before death ended their union.
asserted
death → marry → union
In England, up to one-third of widows remarried, and half of them did so within a year of their husbands' passing.
asserted
half → remarry → passing
The devastation wrought by the death of a spouse was worsened by sexist inheritance laws.
asserted
devastation → work → laws
Widows were often dependent on the sons who inherited their husbands' property for support.
asserted
who → inherit → support
…and 65 more, not listed.
The Aporia
