Wade through all the jargon and word salad in the new 12-page mission statement and you might think you'd stumbled across a Green Party manifesto or a blog by Greta Thunberg.
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you → wade → Thunberg
It talks of 'proudly cross-cutting strategic ambitions of Equity, Diversity and Inclusion and Climate Action'.
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It → talk → Equity
There is a lot about 'justice' – climate, racial, social and economic justice, that is
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that → be → justice
Yet this is a document issued by a 700-year-old City of London charity with a very specific role: to maintain all the Square Mile's non-rail bridges over the River Thames.
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this → issue → Thames
These include one of Britain's most famous landmarks, Tower Bridge.
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These → include → landmarks
And, because it has £1.5 billion in the bank, the charity does all this at zero cost to the taxpayer.
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charity → have → taxpayer
Not that the current board members at the City Bridge Foundation seem terribly interested in helping Londoners cross the river.
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Londoners → seem → river
The word 'Thames', in fact, appears just once in its new policy document, titled Standing With Londoners.
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word → appear → Londoners
Of much greater importance is its mission to 'strengthen our role as a social-justice funder' for the benefit of 'all Londoners'.
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mission → strengthen → Londoners
Many of us, however, might argue that what would really help 'all Londoners', rather than selected charities and Left-leaning pressure groups, would be for the charity to use its huge treasure chest to do its job.
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charity → argue → job
Last night, one London Tory MP accused the foundation of 'woke nonsense'.
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MP → accuse → nonsense
Whopping grants to outfits such as Spectra CIC (£1 million to help it 'build capacity in the trans and sex-worker sector') or Race On The Agenda (£1.5 million to 'combat racial injustice'), may assist a subset of London life.
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it → whop → life
But is it too much to ask a charity set up to maintain bridges to, well, maintain a few more bridges?
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it → ask → bridges
A charity protecting some of London's most iconic bridges, the City Bridge Foundation, awarded over £1.1million to an organisation allegedly linked to Hamas
The whole of London has become a global laughing stock thanks to the farce that is Hammersmith Bridge.
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that → protect → farce
'London's bridges really are falling down,' crowed The New York Times in 2020, mocking the fact Britain was incapable of basic repairs to a key artery and elegant Victorian landmark (which features in the last Bond film).
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which → fall → film
Yet, six years on, it's still closed to traffic.
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it → close → traffic
Other bridges are also in a dismal state, not least Albert (closed for a year) and Waterloo (which could be heading the way of Hammersmith).
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which → close → Hammersmith
So, might the fabulously well-upholstered City Bridge Foundation lend a hand?
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Foundation → upholster → hand
No, it says firmly, it cannot.
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it → say → ?
The foundation's official position is that its primary purpose is to maintain the five City bridges in its care.
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purpose → maintain → care
Beyond that, it explains, its 'ancillary' role is to make grants to charities that help people across Greater London.
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that → explain → London
However, that is actually a role it designed for itself back in 1995, when it applied to the Charity Commission to change its own rules.
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it → design → rules
This all raises broader questions.
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This → raise → questions
And who voted for this stuff?
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who → vote → stuff
The cash belongs to the people of London, whose antecedents paid all those tolls to cross the river.
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antecedents → belong → river
And over centuries the fund has grown into a vast investment portfolio.
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fund → grow → portfolio
The City Bridge Foundation actually has just one overarching trustee, namely the City of London Corporation which, in turn, appoints the board members who appoint the committee that doles out all the money.
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that → have → money
For years, the Left have painted the City as the ultimate bastion of pinstriped capitalist fat-cattery.
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Left → paint → cattery
Yet it would appear a new mindset has slowly permeated the Square Mile, raising the intriguing question: has the City gone woke?
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City → appear → question
How else to explain that a City charity, which had been diligently maintaining a safe route over the Thames since the days of Dick Whittington, just handed £1.2 million to an organisation with alleged links to terrorist outfit Hamas?
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which → explain → Hamas
The charity awarded a grant to the Muslim Charities Forum, whose treasurer also chairs another charity currently being investigated for its alleged links to Hamas (Pictured: Robert Hardman visits Hammersmith Bridge)
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Hardman → award → Bridge
It is all thanks to a bunch of far-sighted medieval monks and merchants that the entity then known as Bridge House Estates was founded in the 12th century with the purpose of traversing the river.
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entity → know → river
They started with a new London Bridge, built in stone to replace the old wooden one, and charged a toll.
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They → start → toll
They reinvested those tolls so efficiently they went on to build two more, Blackfriars and Tower Bridges – and now manage two more, Southwark and the Millennium (formerly 'Wobbly') Bridge.
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they → reinveste → two
And with so much money at their disposal after nearly eight centuries of careful stewardship, the City elders took a big decision in 1995.
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elders → take → 1995
They decided they could branch out from the boring, day-to-day civil engineering stuff and start donating some of the spare cash to good causes.
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they → decide → causes
Since when, as the rebranded City Bridge Foundation, they have quietly given away £840 million to hundreds of charities, some very deserving, some less so, some overtly political and some with no obvious connection to the City.
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some → rebrande → City
Last week, The Times revealed that two cheques amounting to a whopping £1.2 million had been handed to an organisation called the Muslim Charities Forum.
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cheques → reveal → organisation
Its treasurer just happens to be chief executive of another foundation, Al-Khair, which is alleged to have connections to Hamas.
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which → happen → Hamas
The Charity Commission has opened a statutory inquiry into Al-Khair after one of its associates was arrested in the UK and charged by the US with allegedly providing 'material support' to Hamas.
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one → open → Hamas
…and 41 more, not listed.
The Aporia
