Nobody can accuse the basketball star LaMelo Ball of being bad at his job.
asserted
Nobody → accuse → job
That said, the Minnesota Timberwolves point guard doesn’t seem to be a huge fan of dribbling.
asserted
guard → say → dribbling
Ball has a nine-month-old son, LaOne, with his partner Ana Montana (real name: Analicia Chaves) and is apparently uninterested in dealing with all the body fluids that come with a baby.
asserted
that → have → baby
“You’re a dad now,” the sportscaster Ernie Johnson Jr said to Ball during an ESPN interview on Wednesday.
asserted
sportscaster → ’re → Wednesday
“Nah, my girl do all that,” Ball replied.
asserted
Ball → do → that
“We got a good gameplan going on.
asserted
gameplan → got → ?
So I know what I gotta do, bring to the table, she know what she gotta do, bring to the table.”
asserted
she → know → table
Johnson, to his credit, seemed disappointed by this answer.
asserted
Johnson → seem → answer
“Oh man, you don’t know what you’re missing, I’m telling you that.”
asserted
I → know → that
“I did it before, you feel me?
asserted
you → do → me
I’ve definitely did it before, [but] it’s just not my job,” Ball clarified.
asserted
Ball → do → it
“You know what I’m saying?
asserted
I → know → what
It’s not my job.
asserted
It → ’ → ?
Well, actually, excuse me while I mumsplain here, but it very much is your job.
asserted
it → excuse → me
A baby doesn’t care that you signed a five-year contract extension worth up to $260m in 2023.
asserted
you → care → 2023
Parenting is a 24/7 commitment no matter how much money you make.
asserted
you → make → money
Ball and Montana (and, presumably, a team of hired help) are obviously free to share domestic duties however suits them.
asserted
Ball → hire → them
Nobody expects a professional athlete to be as hands-on as a parent with a more flexible schedule.
asserted
athlete → expect → schedule
But going on TV and boasting about how you don’t change diapers?
asserted
you → go → diapers
That’s an extremely outdated look.
asserted
That → ’ → ?
A 1982 study based on fathers in Britain found 43% of fathers had never changed a nappy (as diapers are called in the UK).
asserted
diapers → base → UK
By 2000, that figure had dropped to 3%.
asserted
figure → drop → %
Meanwhile, the average time US dads spend caring for their offspring daily has quadrupled over the past 50 years and about 85% of dads say parenthood is one of the most important aspects of their identity.
asserted
parenthood → spend → identity
Still, even though modern fathers are doing a lot more, they’re still held to different standards than mothers.
asserted
they → do → mothers
Imagine if a female athlete said changing diapers wasn’t her job: the rightwing pitchforks would be instantly out for her.
asserted
pitchforks → imagine → her
It doesn’t matter how accomplished a woman is in her career; there’s still an expectation that her identity as a mother comes first.
asserted
identity → matter → mother
Particularly under the Trump administration, which is trying to foster a whole new generation of tradwives
asserted
which → try → tradwives
Ball is only 25, so I’ll give him some grace.
asserted
I → give → grace
But I hope the backlash to his comments makes him realize that only complete losers boast about not changing diapers.
asserted
losers → hope → diapers
“I would never ask to change [Barron],” the president told the New York Post in 2006.
asserted
president → ask → 2006
“Melania probably wouldn’t let me.
asserted
Melania → let → me
I’d just do it wrong.”
asserted
I → do → it
Asked whether he’d ever changed the diapers of his four other children, he said he probably had, but couldn’t remember.
asserted
he → ask → children
There’s a phrase frequently applied to men who pretend they’re incapable of doing basic domestic chores in order to wriggle out of them: weaponized (or strategic) incompetence.
asserted
they → ’ → them
In Trump’s case, however, it may not actually be weaponized incompetence.
uncertain
it → weaponize → case
Which leads me to present a modest proposal.
asserted
Which → lead → proposal
In the future, we should apply the Diaper Test™ to any man in the running for a high-powered job.
asserted
we → apply → job
If he can’t clean up his own child’s mess, he’s sure to make a mess of the job.
asserted
he → clean → job
Gamblers were betting on the outcome of the Cornell 7 sexual assault case
Two days after a New York district attorney reopened the alleged Cornell University gang-rape case, the Polymarket gambling app allowed people to bet on the results of the investigation.
asserted
people → bet → investigation
According to Defector, Polymarket initially said nothing about why they were letting people bet on a traumatic sexual assault case, before issuing a PR statement full of corporate gobbledegook.
uncertain
people → accord → gobbledegook
…and 21 more, not listed.
The Aporia
