It looked like Jim Morrison was having a few for the road.
asserted
Morrison → look → road
He’d stepped offstage at the Borderline in London an hour or so earlier and slouched to the bar still in his blousy shirt, brown leather pants and trademark belt with its big silver medallions.
asserted
He → step → medallions
This guy, having sung a set of Doors songs with a band that looked and sounded uncannily like the Doors, told me in a suspiciously affected mumble they were off to play Paris the next day.
asserted
they → sing → Paris
I told him to be careful and went home.
asserted
I → tell → him
You have to draw your own line with tribute acts.
asserted
You → have → acts
For me, with his excellent hair and accurate trousers and cultivated cool, this cat was on the wrong side of it.
asserted
cat → cultivate → it
It’s the in-character vibe that makes me nervous when I see, for example, an ad for Starman: The David Bowie Show, with the guy prowling in his orange bouffant and sleek jumpsuit promising an “uncanny” conjuring of the real deal.
asserted
I → ’ → deal
And it’s not only because he’s hotter than I am.
asserted
I → ’ → ?
My band plays David Bowie songs too.
asserted
band → play → songs
Nobody plays David though, and we do it on ukuleles.
asserted
we → play → ukuleles
Not a tribute act; an art project, I tell people –
asserted
I → tell → people
often as they eye the exit
asserted
they → eye → exit
I get that.
asserted
I → get → that
You have to draw your own line with art projects.
asserted
You → have → projects
Great songs should be kept alive.
asserted
songs → keep → ?
A familiar title on a new album is usually where I drop the needle or point my mouse first.
asserted
I → drop → mouse
There’s the pleasure of recognition, followed by the fascinating question of what this particular person has found in it.
asserted
person → ’ → it
Songs actually accumulate value that way.
asserted
Songs → accumulate → value
None of these require us to imagine the original artist has returned in a crap Halloween costume.
asserted
artist → require → costume
Nor does every cover need a clever new arrangement.
asserted
cover → need → arrangement
Just let me hear what it means to you.
asserted
it → let → you
The smaller that gap, the more I’ll just notice what’s missing.
asserted
what → notice → ?
Lucinda Williams singing the Beatles on her From Abbey Road album and Chrissie Hynde singing Dylan on Standing in the Doorway remain unmistakably themselves.
asserted
Hynde → sing → Doorway
That’s the attraction: two people in the song, the one who wrote it and the one who’s finding something of herself there.
asserted
who → ’ → herself
The impersonator, by contrast, is all about closing that distance.
asserted
impersonator → close → distance
Every vowel, gesture and trouser line reassures us that we’re going somewhere we’ve been before.
asserted
we → reassure → us
I do appreciate the dedication of the guy with Liam Gallagher’s haircut, anorak and top lip glued to the microphone.
asserted
I → appreciate → microphone
It’s just his ambition that leaves me cold.
asserted
that → ’ → me
This prejudice becomes harder to defend at the cinema, where impersonating a famous singer is considered an Oscar-worthy artistic undertaking.
asserted
impersonating → become → singer
Jeremy Allen White becomes Bruce Springsteen.
asserted
White → become → ?
Marisa Abela becomes Amy Winehouse.
asserted
Abela → become → ?
Jennifer Hudson becomes Aretha Franklin.
asserted
Hudson → become → ?
Joaquin Phoenix even becomes Johnny Cash.
asserted
Phoenix → become → ?
We celebrate these musicians because they’re unique, then the vocal coach gets to work proving someone else can do it.
asserted
someone → celebrate → it
At least I get to hear Tina Turner.
asserted
I → get → Turner
Timothée Chalamet singing like Bob Dylan is a cute party trick that robs me of the only thing in the picture I care about: Bob Dylan.
asserted
I → sing → picture
Meanwhile on the street, ubiquitous tribute band posters are engaged in a shameless war of branding creep.
asserted
posters → engage → creep
Fleetwood Mac, the Eagles and Paul McCartney appear to be playing near me every other week, unless you’re stopped at the lights long enough to pull over, run across the road and read the fine print.
asserted
you → appear → print
“We went to an ’80s tribute fest at Port Beach,” a mate of mine texted from Perth last week.
asserted
mate → go → Perth
Pat Benatar really went for it.
asserted
Benatar → go → it
…and 10 more, not listed.
The Aporia
