There's the duchess daughter who hasn't spoken to her father for eight years and to her half-siblings for even longer; the brother and sister who were once allies but are now at loggerheads and the family patriarch reported to the police as a pedophile by his own son.
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patriarch → be → son
The Royal Family is often accused of being dysfunctional – but it has nothing on the Markles.
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it → accuse → Markles
Even as the bells pealed at Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018 for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the festivities for the future Duke and Duchess of Sussex were overshadowed by her difficult relationship with her 'other' family.
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festivities → peal → family
Apart from the bride's mother, Doria Ragland, it was only too noticeable that none of them were at the wedding, which was instead packed with a horde of celebrities who likely barely knew the couple.
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who → pack → couple
Meghan's father, Thomas Markle Sr, couldn't come – officially because he was recovering from a heart attack and resulting emergency surgery.
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he → come → attack
However, he'd earlier admitted he wanted to skip the event to avoid embarrassing the couple after it emerged he'd been paid by a paparazzi photographer to pose for staged pictures of him preparing for the wedding.
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he → admit → wedding
His other children, Samantha and Thomas Markle Jr – the children from Thomas Sr's first marriage to Roslyn Loveless – hadn't even been invited along with other family members, as Samantha later complained bitterly on social media.
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Samantha → invite → media
'Out of respect and humanitarianism, the Markles should be invited if 2,000 complete strangers are,' Samantha, 61, wrote on Twitter.
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Samantha → invite → Twitter
Samantha, who is 17 years older than the duchess, claimed they had been kept away so they wouldn't challenge Meghan's sugar-coated version of her past life.
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they → claim → life
The Royal Family is often accused of being dysfunctional – but it has nothing on the Markles
Thomas Sr has long had a turbulent relationship with his younger daughter, Meghan
Even as the bells pealed at Windsor Castle on May 19, 2018 for Harry and Meghan's wedding, the festivities for the future Duke and Duchess of Sussex were overshadowed by her difficult relationship with her 'other' family
But there was good reason for the Sussexes to leave Samantha, a mother of three, off the invite list.
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Sussexes → accuse → list
Just days after it was revealed that the couple were dating, she started to stick the knife in.
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she → reveal → knife
The Sun published a November 2016 interview with Samantha – describing her as an ex-actress who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2008 – in which she described her half-sister as 'shallow' and obsessed with 'social climbing.'
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she → publish → climbing
She told the newspaper: 'Hollywood has changed her.
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Hollywood → tell → her
I think her ambition is to become a princess…
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ambition → think → ?
It was something she dreamed of as a girl when we watched the royals on TV.'
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we → dream → TV
Samantha, who lives in Florida, admitted they saw little of each other but bitingly added: 'I didn't feel a separation from her until I was in the wheelchair.
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I → live → wheelchair
The more high profile she became, she never mentioned me.'
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she → become → me
Around the same time, Samantha was quoted telling Radar Online in the US that she and her father had been hurt by Meghan's 'lack of emotional and financial support' since she became famous.
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she → quote → support
She said: 'The royal family would be appalled by what she's done to her own family.'
It was hardly a promising start and Samantha continued to take pot shots at the couple, calling her sister 'Cruella Deville' and 'witchy poo' on Twitter.
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Samantha → say → Twitter
She also went for Prince Harry, 42, urging him to 'man up' and branding him a hypocrite for giving 'shout-outs about humanitarianism' while allowing his future wife 'to ignore the Markles.
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wife → go → Markles
However, she had kinder words for them as the wedding approached and she hoped for an invitation.
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she → have → invitation
Meghan would later insist she had never been close to her half-sister and had not spoken to her since her 'early twenties.
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she → insist → twenties
But in an interview [with the Mirror] that was published four months before the wedding and seemed like a last-ditch attempt to get on the guest list, Samantha gently contradicted that timeline.
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Samantha → publish → timeline
Samantha Markle was quoted telling Radar Online in the US that she and her father had been hurt by Meghan's 'lack of emotional and financial support' since she became famous
Thomas Markle Jr, an ex-window fitter, has been less public than Samantha in his feuding with the duchess
Samantha Markle also said: 'The royal family would be appalled by what she's done to her own family'
She insisted they had spoken more recently than that – in December 2014, she said, while Meghan was making the TV series Suits in Canada when they chatted on the phone.
'Her last words were, "I love you, babe.
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I → quote → you
I'm really glad we had this conversation.
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we → have → conversation
Keep in touch,"' Samantha recalled.
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Samantha → keep → touch
'And she couldn't – she got busy.
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she → get → ?
I tried.
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I → try → ?
But I think she just got really busy.'
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she → think → ?
Samantha, reportedly shedding tears by this point, added: 'I hope now that she knows I was there.
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I → shed → point
I should've really reached out more...
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I → reach → ?
In the same interview, Samantha rather preposterously denied that the title of her forthcoming memoir, The Diary of Princess Pushy's Sister, was intended as an insult to her sister, saying she intended to prove that Meghan was the 'opposite' of that and chose the title to make a mockery of 'social perceptions and labels.'
For those wondering what had caused such a venomous rift between two siblings who admitted they had seen little of each other, the explanation seemed to be principally rooted in money.
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explanation → deny → money
And specifically, their father's decision to pay for Markle to go to private schools after he won $750,000 in the California State Lottery in 1990.
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he → pay → 1990
Samantha admitted that some of their conversations about how Meghan could now repay her father's investment by helping him financially, he was living near Rosarito in Mexico at the time, may have antagonized her sister.
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he → admit → sister
'There was just a time when — and it's funny — we were on the phone,' Samantha recalled before the wedding.
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Samantha → be → wedding
'It was probably not my place to say but I was just saying, "Hey, help Dad with some of that money for school now you're making a lot of money."
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you → say → money
I think at that time she wasn't that pleased about what I had to say.'
When Samantha saw the dress Meghan wore for her engagement portraits with Prince Harry, she commented: 'If you can spend $75,000 on a dress, you can spend $75,000 on your dad.'
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you → think → dad
Hostilities inevitably ratcheted up still further after the royal wedding passed without an invitation for Samantha, and Meghan was freed up in what she could say after the couple officially broke away from the Royal Family.
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couple → ratchet → Family
In the Sussexes' controversial interview with Oprah Winfrey in March 2021, she said she had essentially been raised as an only child and saw Samantha no more than a handful of times.
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Samantha → say → times
In the Netflix docuseries Harry & Meghan the following year, Samantha's daughter, 37-year-old Ashleigh Hale, complicated the family picture further by defending her aunt.
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daughter → complicate → aunt
…and 60 more, not listed.