- Published
Spoiler warning: This article reveals details from episode eight of The Celebrity Traitors, series two.
asserted
article → publish → Traitors
Original Celebrity Traitor Maya Jama, latest recruit King Kenny and now even the reluctant James Acaster - hurrah! - have developed a real appetite for murder this week.
And going into Friday's episode we knew that their collective cruel intention was to see that one of three faithfuls, Miranda Hart, Romesh Ranganathan or Sebastian "Bash" Croft, did not make it to breakfast.
asserted
one → develop → breakfast
When it became clear that the murdered Miranda had danced her last dance in the castle - leaving only 10 of the initial 21 players - the pressure began to mount and speculation was rife.
asserted
speculation → become → players
The self-declared Miss Marple wannabe had been stitched up, of course.
asserted
wannabe → declare → course
"Miranda is a good detective," noted James A in a flashback to the turret talk from the night before.
asserted
A → note → night
"I don't know who I'm becoming," responded Maya - who has taken to treachery like a duck to water - "but I feel it in my loins, and Miranda is the only one that makes sense."
Miranda, who had been in her element sleuthing away on the show, did not take the news of her untimely death at all well, throwing her murder note to the ground.
asserted
who → know → ground
Absolutely not," she cried.
asserted
she → cry → ?
"I'm so cross with myself, I was wholly focusing on my Joanne issue," she added with reference to her theory about Joanne McNally being a traitor - one that even Miranda herself had - unwisely - "debunked" at the roundtable.
asserted
Miranda → focus → roundtable
Ending on a more positive note, the comedian, who has had health issues in recent years, reflected: "Ultimately, in my little personal story, this has been quite extraordinary that I've been able to get back and do the thing that I love professionally and do the things that I love personally.
"Like wandering around a Scottish island and being in nature and laughing and connecting.
asserted
I → end → nature
There were times that I didn't think that would be possible again".
asserted
that → be → ?
With Miss Marple now out of the picture, James A told viewers that two of the remaining traitor hunters, James Blunt and Michael Sheen are like "Holmes and Watson".
"Luckily they're completely looking in all the wrong places," he added.
asserted
he → tell → places
Leigh-Anne, having lost her new Big Mix dance partner from episode six, said she was now praying that the heat on her would go away.
asserted
heat → lose → her
While Miranda was being murdered on Thursday night, out in the real world another Little Mix star Jade Thirlwell told BBC News - at the Mercury prize ceremony - that her groupmate was a real life "faithful through and through".
asserted
groupmate → murder → ceremony
Those kind words would be worth little if the now nicely positioned traitors kept going at this rate, however.
"This is actually embarrassing," declared comedian Romesh at breakfast.
asserted
Romesh → position → breakfast
"We are getting battered," a sneaky Maya agreed.
asserted
Maya → batter → ?
"This is just getting harder and harder by the second."
Nudge, wink.
Breaking character in the safety of the diary room, the Gentleman actress and presenter admitted: "I'm not gonna lie, I feel terrible about Miranda, I really do and she will be sorely missed.
asserted
she → get → Miranda
"But with great honour comes great pressure, and here I am, "OG traits", still flying it up."
asserted
I → come → it
After breakfast, James B, who has been pretty consistently wrong with his theories throughout the series, continued his fine form, saying of Maya and Kenny: "I think they are the two most innocent."
asserted
they → continue → Kenny
He joked (it was a joke, right?): "Watching me in this castle must be like watching Sherlock at work."
asserted
Watching → joke → work
With less heat on her than Christmas Day in Blackpool, Maya started planting a seed that roundtable "chief investigator" Michael Sheen might be up to something.
uncertain
Sheen → plant → something
"How has that guy not been killed?" asked Romesh.
asserted
Romesh → kill → ?
"It's like not getting rid of [Hercule] Poirot," he added, as the literary detective references kept coming.
asserted
references → rid → Poirot
Michael and Sharon - fast becoming a dark horse with her theory about Ross Kemp having been killed with perfume - said she was determined to catch a traitor and would "not be taking any prisoners".
asserted
she → become → prisoners
'We are killing you all'
asserted
We → kill → you
On to Friday's mission, as the dwindling group arrived in a "field of screams", as presenter Claudia Winkelman aptly put it, full of scary-looking scarecrows.
asserted
Winkelman → dwindle → scarecrows
"This is like the Wickerman," said Joanne.
asserted
Joanne → say → Wickerman
The task involved them attempting to retrieve bags of gold from inside the straw men with a pitchfork, in a bid to add thousands of pounds to the charity prize pot.
asserted
them → involve → pot
Joanne's knot-tying badge she claimed to have been awarded in her youth didn't seem to help her much, though, as she struggled initially to grab any gold.
asserted
she → tie → gold
"I have a newfound respect for the farming community," she declared.
asserted
she → have → community
But it wasn't only gold on offer, it transpired.
asserted
it → transpire → offer
An as-yet unrevealed game-changing power would be bestowed upon one player, but only after they had to blow up the proxy pumpkin scarecrow heads of all but three of the most trustworthy contestants.
asserted
they → unreveale → contestants
Things got tense when Sharon, by her own later admission, "got mad at the boys" - James B, Michael and Kenny - over which heads should roll.
asserted
heads → get → boys
In the most remarkably stupid moment of the series since Richard E Grant told everyone he was a traitor, the group chose to preserve the heads belonging to Maya, James A and Kenny.
asserted
group → tell → Maya
"I had to hold in my laughter," said Maya, privately afterwards.
asserted
Maya → have → laughter
"Of all people, you saved us.
asserted
you → save → us
I just thought, 'oh my gosh, have we completed this game already?
asserted
we → think → game
We are trusting.
asserted
We → trust → ?
We are killing you all'.
asserted
We → kill → you
"
The special power was revealed to be a double dagger, enabling one of "the trustworthy trio", as James A newly described them, to have two votes at the night's roundtable.
asserted
A → reveal → roundtable
King Kenny became King Arthur being crowned keeper of the special blade.
"I think it's in the right hands," declared James B back at the castle, now colder than ever in terms of catching a traitor.
asserted
B → become → traitor
…and 21 more, not listed.
The Aporia
